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UFO Sighting Report


May, 6, 2010


Healapu, Puerto Rico


A flash of light shot across, almost blinding me. Then it stopped on the horizon and shot back, knocking me off balance. The UFO shot at me.

Date Reported:

2/13/2012 5:15:34 PM



Appearance / Description of Object(s)

It was kinda bright, all glittery, a pink/ redish colour and it looked like a giant toaster.

Size of Object(s)

It was 13 inches but looked about 50 inches! Oh the UFO? 1 inch and 10ft wide and 18ft high .

Full Description & Details

I just took a shit in my portaloo and then I had a cabbage for breakfast. I went to get some feed for the goat and then I fed it before going back inside. I was surfing redtube with my pants around my ankles when I heard a deep rumbling. Fully erect, I stumbled outside to see what was going on. The neighbour and her 10 children came outside too, to observe the racket but they saw more than they bargained for if ya know what I mean ;) I put my manhood away as it was blocking the sun and seached the skies for any type of aircraft. Disappointed yet not embarrased I went back inside and continued with Sally Crystal on redtube. I then heard a massive explosion from right outside and adjourned my wank for a second time. I put my schlong away though as I didn't want whatever it was to hit it on the way over. I ran out and glanced over at Tomik, my prized goat. He was everywhere. Then one of his legs fell down from the sky and narrowly missed my head. It was like that T-Rex scene from Jurassic Park apart from it was an alien, not a dinosaur. I waved in the neigbour and her 10 kids who were still scarred by the monster in my waistband. I stood outside and caught a glimpse of the UFO as it momentarily stopped over my house, beaming my household objects into it's ship. Then in the blink of an eye it disappeared as far as the horizon and then, just as quickly, it shot back over, inches from my chimney. The force knocked me backwards into Tomik's carcuss and turned my boner into a semi. My laptop was gone afterwards. They took my porn.